Building Community with Others Who Have Differing Views
In a world where polarization seems to be the norm, the need to build and maintain solid relationships with people who hold different social, cultural, or political opinions is more critical than ever. So much of what’s difficult about building community with others who have different perspectives or beliefs than we do is the emotional significance of these conversations. We often are able to bridge the divide because we may feel threatened, passionate, or personally impacted by the issue being discussed. While challenging, it’s important to build and maintain solid relationships with people in our communities who may hold differing social, cultural, and political opinions than us.
Tapping on the expertise of the Prismatic team, this piece sheds light on the importance of emotional intelligence (EQ) when having tough conversations and building community while offering practical strategies for professionals to bridge the divide.
The Challenge with Differences
Our culture often rewards extreme viewpoints, pushing individuals to adopt positions that paint them as heroes in their own narratives. This tendency can turn conversations about important issues into identity battles, where disagreement is seen as a personal attack. For instance, in a conversation about a specific education policy, making a more broad, sweeping statement such as, "I just care about the safety of our kids," might quickly transform a discussion about child safety into a debate about someone's character.
This shift from issues to identity makes these conversations particularly challenging because our identities are inherently tied to the issues we discuss. This phenomenon can be seen in various contexts, from discussions about workers' rights in a company to debates about political ideologies. When our identities are on the line, the stakes are high, and rational discourse often takes a backseat to emotional reactions.
Navigating Challenging Conversations
First and foremost, it's crucial to assess the intentions of the person you're communicating with. Are they genuinely seeking understanding, or are they looking to perform or provoke? If the intentions don't align, it may be wise to proceed with caution, as such conversations can lead to ruptures rather than resolutions.
Here are some tactical steps professionals can take to build community and foster understanding:
Practice Active Listening: Actively listen to what others are saying without immediately formulating a response. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective fully. This demonstrates your willingness to engage in a meaningful dialogue.
Seek Common Ground: Instead of focusing on differences, consciously seek areas of agreement or shared values. Starting from common ground can pave the way for more productive discussions.
Empathize and Validate Emotions: Recognize the emotions involved in the conversation and validate them. People are more receptive to differing viewpoints when they feel heard and understood. Say something like, "I understand that you feel strongly about this issue."
Reflect on Your Own Emotions: Before responding, take a moment to reflect on your own emotions and biases. Are you reacting emotionally, or are you approaching the conversation with an open mind? Self-awareness is key to constructive dialogue.
Use "I" Statements: When expressing your perspective, use "I" statements to convey your feelings and thoughts without making it seem like an attack on the other person. For example, say, "I believe" or "I feel" instead of "You are wrong."
Create a Safe Space: Establish a safe and respectful environment for discussions. Encourage everyone involved to adhere to ground rules that prioritize civility and respect, even in the face of disagreements.
Practice Patience: Recognize that meaningful change and understanding take time. Be patient with the process and with yourself. It may require multiple conversations to reach a point of mutual understanding
Prioritizing Relationships
We should prioritize and reflect on our commitment to understanding the other person. What is at risk if we genuinely seek to understand their perspective? This introspection can help break down the walls of mistrust that often hinder productive conversations.
Furthermore, reminding people that the relationship matters most can defuse tense situations. Our safety within our communities is paramount, and when we feel safe, we are more open to listening and understanding differing viewpoints. Even if we disagree, emphasizing that it doesn't change our relationship can create a more constructive dialogue.
However, it's important to acknowledge that not all relationships can withstand certain ideological differences. If a belief is a deal-breaker, it might be better to part ways amicably rather than engage in toxic arguments.
The Power of Collaboration Across Differences
As professionals, what can we achieve in our communities when we collaborate across our differences? This is a question worth pondering. By applying these EQ practices and fostering understanding, we can contribute to a more inclusive and harmonious workplace, community, and world.
We should keep in mind that building and maintaining relationships with people of different opinions is not only possible but necessary. The key lies in cultivating emotional intelligence, practicing self-awareness, and prioritizing relationships over ideological battles. By doing so, we can create spaces where constructive dialogue can flourish, even in the most polarized of times.
In our diverse workplaces and communities, it's crucial that we continue to nurture our emotional intelligence skills, enabling us to navigate challenges effectively and build bridges between differing viewpoints. In this way, we can contribute to a more understanding, compassionate, and united world.